Saturday, July 08, 2006

Now this is funny

Posted by Craig Westover | 1:16 PM |  

A West Texas cowboy was herding his cows in a remote
pasture when a shiny new BMW advanced out of a dust
cloud toward him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni
suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sun glasses and a Yves
Saint Laurent tie, leans out the window and asks the
cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and
calves you have in your herd, will you give me a

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then
looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly
answers, "Sure. Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook
computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell
phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where
he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get
an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to
another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
ultra-high-resolution photo. The young man then opens
the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to
an image-processing facility in Hamburg, Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot
that the image has been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an
ODBC-connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his
Blackberry, and, after a few minutes, receives a
response. Finally, he prints out a full-color,
150-page report on his miniaturized HP LaserJet
printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You
have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my
calves," says the cowboy. He watches the young man
select one of the animals and looks on amused as the
young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then
the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell
you exactly what your business is, will you give me
back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then
says, "Okay."

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says
the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did
you guess that?"

"No guessing required," said the cowboy. "You showed
up here even though nobody called you, you want to get
paid for an answer to a question I already knew and
never asked, you tried to show me how much smarter you
are than me, and you don't know a thing about give me back my dog."