Yes, I think I'll sue . . . .

Mistaken for Michael Jordan, so he sues

Allen Heckard of Portland, Ore. "says he’s been mistaken as Michael Jordan nearly every day over the past 15 years and he’s tired of it." So he's suing the basketball star and Nike founder Phil Knight for $832 million in all.

“'I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me,' said Heckard.

Heckard is suing Jordan for defamation and permanent injury and emotional pain and suffering. He’s suing Knight for defamation and permanent injury for promoting Jordan and making him one of the most recognized men in the world."

Why $832 million, exactly? "Well, you figure with my age and you multiply that times seven and ah, then I turn around and ah I figure that's what it all boils down to." That's no more arbitrary as a calculation than some damage assertions we can think of that have done very well in court.

Watch out, Gorton's!